This is the part about marriage they don’t tell you about, I thought as I circled the parking lot again, trying to find a spot in the rain. Adriene and I had both had very long days at work and we had just picked up my car from the mechanic (which proved to be an expensive trip) and we got home and were mentally, physically, financially, and emotionally exhausted. Adriene decided to make a pizza for dinner and normally she is a master in the kitchen, a domestic Mozart of culinary preparations. You can use any of the sports analogies you want. Even great pitchers give up the big home run, great hitters strike out, great quarterbacks throw the interception, great receivers drop the ball, great basketball players miss the free throw. Whichever one you want to use, it happened. When I saw the burnt, ruined pizza come out of the oven, I already knew. She was done for the night. So, out in the rain I went, dragging my butt from a long day at work, out to pick up a pizza from the local place so we could eat dinner about two hours later than we normally do. It was a small gesture, but it was awfully representative of the last couple months around our house.

I’ve had a couple of friends and acquaintances get engaged during this year. I’m sure they are thinking of all the great romantic moments they are going to have together in the future years and I’m sure they will have those. But sometimes, marriage is more like this. When every thing gives out and it seems like the whole world exists only to tear you down, all you’ve got is each other and sometimes even things as simple as driving in the rain to pick up a pizza become relationship builders and marriage strengtheners. It seems like more than ever in the past couple of months, we’ve each bottomed out emotionally, physically, mentally, or spiritually at different times from different circumstances and left the other one to carry the whole thing for a while. Sometimes it feels like even God returns nothing but static and all that’s there is the comfort of your companion while you struggle with the dial to find Him again on the radio. It takes a strong marriage to trust each other in that way during those times. I feel for people in marriages who view their spouse as an adversary or hinderance, because who then is left to help in this fight of life? Come what may, I have to think all of the trials running us down are building us up, hopefully preparing us for something greater. This is the stuff you didn’t think about years ago when you said “I do.”