Late one night at a party my sophmore year at college, I finally stopped trying to swim against the tide. I had grown weary of chasing after girls that had no interest in me. The night began when a friend of mine brought some of her friends with her to the party. She introduced me to one of the girls and left me with her, asking if I would keep her company for the night so she wouldn’t feel lonely. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve said I had just been set up on a blind date. She was a nice girl, but hardly talked at all and I found I really had to work hard to keep a conversation going. The evening didn’t really go all that bad, but at the same time, it just wasn’t happening. She didn’t show a whole lot of interest in me, and I wasn’t about to put a whole lot of effort out. Outwardly, we politely said goodbye and thanks but inwardly, I found myself frustrated. Why did it seem I was always around girls that had no interest in me? Why was I not interested in the girls that had shown interest in me? Why did it seem like every relationship with a girl was an uphill climb?

I thought back to a friend who was now a senior at my old high school. During the previous summer that I spent in Florida, we exchanged several letters and phone calls and were becoming increasingly closer friends. I couldn’t help by wonder if she had a crush on me. Of all the girls in my life at the time, she certainly paid more attention to me than anyone else. Yet, despite all that, I had a myriad of reasons not to date her. After my freshman year, I was determined not to date any more high school girls. I needed to move on and date college girls. While she was attractive, she didn’t look like the kind of girl I envisioned myself with and while she was clever, intelligent, and articulate, it didn’t seem like our personalities meshed. Also, we had developed a close friendship and we had a common network of friends and I was hesitant to take a chance of disrupting the friendships. I had come up with all these reasons not to date her, but I started wondering, why not?

After that night at the party, I decided it was time to stop fighting it and just ask my friend from high school out. For once, I wanted to know what it was like to be around a girl that wanted to be around me. After all, I was a guy and she was a girl. Why not go out on one date and just see what happens? So I called her up and she agreed to go out for dinner. Of course, when you’re going out with me, you just can’t go on a normal date. On the way to pick her up, I stopped at the ATM to pick up some cash and I totally blanked. I forgot my ATM passcode! I tried three times and sure enough the machine ate my card! Now what do I do. I arrived at her house and met her parents and while I was talking to them, all I could think was “Where am I going to take her when I don’t have a dime in my pocket?” When we got in the car, I remembered that I had some cash hidden away in my dorm room, so I asked her if she would mind going downtown so I could swing by Tech. She was fine with going anywhere so with the change of plans we went downtown and ate dinner there.

What happened that night was so different than any date I had been on before. It wasn’t awkward. It was funny, relaxed, enjoyable. Even after losing my ATM card and having to find a place to eat on the fly, there was no pressure and stress. There was no need to impress her, she already knew me well. When I dropped her off that night I thought to myself, “that had to be the easiest date I have ever been on.” It was a no-brainer to ask her out for a second date.

For the first time in my life, I was truly happy about my dating situation. Things seemed to be falling in place. That means, of course, that circumstances would soon change after a couple months.