This month has really been a month of intense social situations around large groups of friends I rarely see followed by periods in between of recovery and idleness. It’s really been a hot and cold time. I went about two to three weeks physically and emotionally spent getting over Cornerstone week and just as I was beginning to acclimate to “normal” life again, we hosted a whole bunch of people at our house for the weekend. Now I suspect it will take another week or so to normalize again.
I always come away from these gatherings regretting that I really didn’t have any meaningful conversations with people. It always seems like I never get deeper than casual conversation or small talk. I always leave wishing I’d gotten to know people more or empathized about fears, struggles, and hopes. Part of that comes from being a host or planner, I guess, because I feel responsible for making sure people are having a good time during the entire time, so I don’t feel like I should be devoting too much time to one person or group of persons.
That’s the funny thing about being a part of an online community, though. We already spend our time discussing weighty topics like politics and religion. We already share our burdens, moan about the inane, and mourn with each other. Maybe when we actually see each other, everyone is already spent from discussing heavier matters online and people just want to forget about all that for a weekend. I don’t know. It seems so different from whenever I meet with “real life” friends and all we do is discuss all our problems, or worse, gossip about everyone else.
It’s always hard to emotionally stablize from intense events like this weekend, but I’m glad we had a chance to host everyone, and forget about all the world’s problems for a while.