06.19.06

Proof that your childhood is traumatic.

Posted in General, Rants at 8:47 pm by Adriene

I had a fairly traumatic experience when I was nine years old.

I was at a sleepover at my friend Tammy’s house for her birthday. Her mom had ordered some pizza, and we spent about five hours setting up Mouse Trap, then we got bored and gave up before we even played it (did anyone ever actually PLAY that game? Just about everyone I know just set it up and tried to get it to work once or twice, then gave up).

Her mom had made a stop by the local video rental store and picked up a few movies for us to watch. We took a vote to see which one we would watch first. I wanted to watch Three Men and a Baby. Unfortunately, I was outnumbered and we were forced to watch… Gremlins.

(Now, I should probably inform you that if a movie has something cute, fuzzy, and adorable turning into some otherworldly imp that enjoys feasting upon human flesh, I’m probably not going to like it. Even if the movie is supposed to be “funny.” That was true when I was a nine year old, and it is still true today.)

So, it was with a timid heart and hands clamped firmly over my eyes that I sat down to watch this movie with my so-called “friends.” (Seriously, if they were friends, they would have seen I was scared out of my wits and immediately put Three Men and a Baby on, which is what I wanted to watch in the first place.) There were periodic screams and squeals from my friends, and I pretty much just sat there whimpering the entire time.

After that night, I had nightmares about mohawk-clad gremlins wandering into my room at night and hovering over me. (I had recently conquered the fear of sleeping in a completely dark room at that time, and my mom had to begrudgingly put the night light back in my room for a while.) Eventually, I got over it somewhat and the nightmares dissipated a little.

However, about once a year, I still have a Gremlins-related nightmare. Case and point: last night.

It started out fairly harmless… I was simply upstairs in my house, when I became vaguely aware that something was not quite right. I wandered from room to room upstairs, and everything seemed to be in order. Then I decided to venture into… the basement.

As I descended the stairs, chills started running up and down my spine. I turned the corner into the family room in the basement, and there they were…. PODS!!!!! I started screaming, and luckily I woke up before one of those godforesaken things started opening.

So yeah. That’s proof that stuff that happens to you as a child can freak out out way into adulthood.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to sleep with all of the lights on tonight.

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