10.15.04
A God Moment
God slapped me around a little today during lunch.
I was sitting at a stop light, blaring “Share the Well” by Caedmon’s Call on my CD player (seriously, this CD hasn’t left my player since I got my grubby little hands on it on Tuesday). The sun was shining, the air’s finally turned a little chilly here, and things were pretty much going great for me today. I was grooving out to the catchy “Je ra ji ra ji ra ji ra je je je” in the chorus portion and pretty much feeling awesome about myself.
Then I see him walking toward me. He’s wearing a ratty-looking coat and a battered Yankees cap over his graying dreadlocks. His jeans have holes in them and he’s clutching a used McDonald’s orange juice container full of change as he leans on a battered metal crutch. He hobbles up to the car in front of me who, as usual, waves him off.
I had a chance here. I really had a chance here to show this guy some love. But what do I do?
I adopt the usual Atlanta suburban countenance when it comes to the homeless and the poor. I stare stonily ahead while muttering “Just walk by, just walk by and leave me alone” in my head. And he passes and hobbles on to the next car.
This is where God smacked me hard. What the heck is the song I’m listening to at this precise moment telling me?
“Share the well
Share with your brother
Share the well my friend
It takes a deeper well
to love one another
Share the well my friend”
Here I am gushing about how important this album is and how it speaks to a portion of Christianity that we rarely enjoy talking about but must do anyway, and what am I doing? The same thing that I railed against in an earlier post.
I was not showing this guy the love of Christ. I judged him, assumed that if I gave him any money the first thing he would go do is run off to the nearest liquor store and blow it on some Boone’s Farm. But who am I to do that? What if he really is hungry? What if he really does need some money to buy a blanket to keep warm at night?
It boils down to this. I have, and this guy obviously does not have. The only thing I am responsible for is doing my best as a Christian to help those in need and not to judge them as to what they may do with any gifts I give them. That is between them and God, not me.
He hobbles back by my window and I hastily roll it down.
“Excuse me, sir?”
He turns his weary eyes toward me and stares for a moment.
“I’m really sorry I ignored you at first. Would this help you out?”
I pass him a couple of dollars that had been sitting in my cupholder for the past few days.
He smiles, and says “God bless you, ma’am. I was praying he would provide for me today, and he surely has.”
I got a lump in my throat. Here I sit day after day complaining about what I don’t have, and here this guy is who is happy as can be by getting two dollars that may buy him a hot meal, perhaps the first one he’s had in a couple of days.
“No,” I say, “God bless YOU.”
And then I drove off in tears.
Geof Said:
October 15, 2004 at 3:16 pm
Ahhh, the power to change.
You could also quote from an Osenga song:
That verse has always hit me in the face, probably the same way that it does Andy.
Jeff H Said:
October 15, 2004 at 3:42 pm
Good thoughts. It’s so easy to be cynical.
Carla Jean Said:
October 15, 2004 at 4:57 pm
I struggle with that almost every work day. I like to walk around downtown during my lunch break, and I encounter several homeless men when I do. (The other day one even chased me across the street to ask for money.) Now, I rarely carry cash and so it’s easy to blow them off. But I never quite know where the balance is. I can’t give money to everyone I see in need. But I feel pretty crappy when I stroll past men sleeping on benches while I admire my fancy clothes in the storefront reflection.
alisa Said:
October 19, 2004 at 6:47 pm
Okay Im tearing up. Thanks Adriene, what a great post.
Ive always kinda struggled with that once I get past the mind set we all have that we dont want to be bothered by folks like that. As a smaller size female, am I being safe in doing that?